のぶかつの部活動 since 1970
Do you know the answer to this riddle?
時事問題’16
 めーでーめーでー
  



ともかく

いつも、画像と文章にはおおかれすくなかれ

ちっちゃく黒色の脳細胞を串して記事をつくりあげていっておるつもりなのら

それは、ときに奇跡的に偶然がおりなす黄金比的な効果をうみだすこともある。

自分でもわかっちゃいるんだが・・・

かっこいい画像vsかっこわるい画像

かわいい画像vsホラーな画像
















zztop.jpg
                             じじい界の頂点

いわゆるぼくの中では対比美 対比とか落差を表現して物事にリッパーしたろかしら

っと、立派な考え方もっておるんかもなんです。







cat_playing_lapsteel[1]


♪メタルの様式美♪

ぼくの中では

①ジューダス・プリースト (painkiller,ram it down,turbo)

②アイアン・メイデン (somewhere in time のみ)

③オジー・オズボーン  (只今封印中)



音楽って?何をもって美しいのか基準は個人によって

全然違うとおおうのだけど

根底に流れるものを加味すると

トニー・マカパイン

イングウエル・マルムスティーンも

いれんとあかんし

もち

メガデス

ドリームシアター

などもはいってくるのれ、是は股別の機会へ・・・


























むぎわら











話は突然かわりましゅ



それにしてもじじぃって人種は

ひとのことをG---っと見つめてくるんよな









のぶかつDEATH

Pencil-Vs-Camera[1]




☆。,・~~・,。★。,・~~・,。☆。,・~~・,。★。,・~~・


             本日、本文と画像はいっさい関係おまへん題名も(焦)




今日部活動行く途中にじいさんが話しかけてきた。

『すいません、定期を落としてしまって…』

服はホームレスっぽくはなく、黒のダウンジャケットにはでかでかと

ノブカツイズムて書いてあって、ねっ、おじさん、ちゃんとした人なのよ、

と言わんばかり。ノブカツ着てる人に悪い人はいないでしょ、

と言わんばかりにでかいロゴを見つめていると

『大阪民国のほうから来たんですけど、天下茶屋からなら三百円あれば帰れるんです。

必ずお返しするので…』

そう言ってタバコの箱とペンをとりだし、

さぁ今からあなたのお金の返却先をメモりますよ、のポーズをとるじいさん。

『え?こっから天下茶屋ってどうやって行くんですか?』

『あ、もうそこ、御堂筋にでれば歩いていけるんで』

…くせぇ、こいつぁプンプンときてるぜェ!















Texas20Chainsaw20Massacre[1]


なんで大阪民国に住んでるじいさんが、ぼくも知らない天下茶屋までの行き方知ってんねん、

しかも歩いてどんだけかかんねん!

まぁ出だしの寸借詐欺定型文からすでに泳がしてただけだったけど(汗)

ここで『じゃあそこに交番あるんで一緒に借りに行きましょう』てのは簡単、

ただぼくのなかの須磨魂が、おもしろきこともなき世をおもしろくやろ!と叫ぶ。

ぼくはじいさんに五百円を渡す。三百円で帰れるところを二百円チップやで!

住所かなんかメモろうとするじじい芝居に、いやいやケンチャナよ、と。

じゃあどうもつって足早に立ち去るじいさん。











ビビルのぶかつ





いやいやそこはもっと感謝しろよ、やっと家に帰れるんだからさー、

と思いながらぼくもそのまま部活動へ、

行くと見せかけてじいさんがある程度はなれたところからの尾行開始。

まぁ五百円あれば十分に家には帰れるわけやから、

これでじいさんがまた誰かに金を借りに動いたら完全にクロ、

ぼくの磨き込んだオッサンキックが初めて人間相手に火を噴くぜ!

現行犯なら一般人でも逮捕できるらしいしな、とついていくと、

じいさんがそこにあるそごうに入っていった。

てめぇ、ぼくの金で買い物しようってのか!

予定とは違うが、もしやつが家に帰るためのなけなしの金で

なんか買ってたらそれはそれでクロ。

ちいっ、距離をとりすぎてたぜ!と思いながらそこにあるそごうの入り口へ。

中はかなり明るい。





















texas1[1]




やつがぼくに気づけば、なにも買わずにでていってしまうだろう、

それでは無罪。万引きGメンのごとく、購入直前で確保するしかない。

が、入ってみると、そこにあるそごうにじじいの姿はない。

くそっ、だが焦るな、ホシはまだ遠くへは行っていない。

この建物のなかで容疑者が立ち寄りそうな場所…7階の定食コーナーだ!

極貧に飢えた身体を、マルガイの五百円で満たすつもりにちげぇねぇ!

ぼくは周りに目を配りながら、一休屋の前まで移動、緊張しながら中をのぞく。

このシチュエーションなら、店のなかに入っている時点でもうアウトとしていいだろう、

まぁなんだったら注文がお決まりになるまでホシを泳がせてやってもいいがな…

が、いない!






















いないいない





いかん、完璧に見失ったらえらいことだぞ!

それだったら、ぼくは三百円でいいって言ってる

寸借詐欺師に五百円くれてやった馬鹿になってしまう!

いやいや、まだ遠くへは行ってないはずだ、考えろ、考えろ。

やつが行きそうな場所を…自分がヨハンになったつもりで捜査を…

そうか、駅だ!


















Kings_cross_station[1]


駅はすべての寸借詐欺師にとってパワースポット!

しかも、万が一じいさんが純粋に家に帰るにしても駅を使うはず。

ぼくは行き交う人の顔を逐一確認しながら駅へ。

定期をなくして困ってる演技をしているじじいがそこに…いないっ!

くそっ、どうなってるんだ!このままだと事件は迷宮入りしてしまう。























Jareth-labyrinth.jpg













こうしてぼくがもたもたしている間にも、

被疑者は遠くへ逃げてしまっているかもしれないんだぞ。

とりあえず振り出しへ戻ろう。可能性は低いが、

万が一じいさんがあの場所でいつも犯行を繰り返しているとしたら、

戻ってきている可能性も…

自らの推理に釈然としないものを感じながら、

部活動のほうへ向かい、そこにあるそごうの前を通ったその時、全ての謎はとけた。
















Hostel2











地下だ!























mega-shark-vs-giant-octopus-image-review[1]


ぼくの、やつが飢えているというところまではよかった。

ただ、五百円しかない人間が定食屋に入るという推理に無理があったのだ。

やつは、地下食料品売り場へと向かったのだ!

確かにあそこなら、五百円で惣菜を買うことができるっ!

大急ぎで地下へと向かい、くまなく店を見てみるも

そこにルパンの姿はなかった…

ちっ、今日のところはぼくの完敗だぜ。

ハードボイルドにウィスキーダブルをロックで飲み干すと、

ぼくはまた葉巻に火をつけた。














dub_惨事







今日の教訓

次に寸借詐欺に会ったら、どんなやつだろうと

『あ、久しぶり。ほら、こないだ五百円貸したぼくですよ。あれから待ってたんですけど、

全然送られてこなくって…今日返してもらっていいですか』て言う。













SLUMGUY.jpg







で、なんだかんだ言って、最終的にはまた五百円渡して、追っかける















































jijijijijiji.jpg


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